Friday, June 22, 2007

Official: Council aims to get worse

It really is amazing what we've found in the Council's Corporate and Performance Plan. These are the sort of documents that, whilst available to the public, no one ever reads because they're assumed to boring. We can't deny that analysis is true but they're also a goldmine of some of the more absurd and bizarre that goes on in Greenwich that you won't see in Greenwich Time.

Take for example street lights. We all love them, they're really useful, they light the way home when we've stumbled from the Trafalgar Tavern. Sometimes they don't work though, and the Council is responsible for fixing them which they duly do as part of their targets and performance.

In 2005-06 the Council set themselves a target of fixing broken street lamps within two days of being identified. What they actually achieved was a fix time of 2.35 days, which we think is quite good really. After all, a target is meant to be achievable but is not, necessarily, something that will always be achieved.

We're presuming the target of two days was set for 2005-06 because, in 2004-05 they managed to have a fix time of 2.06. We shan't dwell on the fact they got slightly worse as the difference is marginal. We will ask you though, what do you think, given that they're currently fixing street lights in 2.35 days, what the target for 2006-07 is? Perhaps two still?

Well you'd be wrong. No, the Council has decided, according the Corporate and Performance Plan, that the target for this year should be three days. Yes, that's right, their target this year is to actually get worse at something. We have to admit it's difficult to satire something like this when they do such a good job for us.

Of the few things that Greenwich Council is actually good at, the Council has decided - in its uniquely bizarre and infinite wisdom - that it must put a stop to it. We hate sounding like Richard Littlejohn, but you really couldn't make this sort of thing up.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish street lighting was fixed in 3 days. I have been reporting a problem for 3 months and it has yet to be rectified. Every time I ring I am told it will be seen to in 3 days but I wonder if anything actually gets done!

2:04 pm  
Anonymous t said...

Its actually quite clever, they'll aim to be worse and this time next year they'll tell us how they've been so successful with their targets.
Wankers.

4:26 pm  
Blogger The Last Boy Scout said...

I'll give odds of 6/4 that they'll miss that target aswell.

5:28 pm  

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